I'm ranting about vegetables..

Actually, I'm ranting about all fruits and vegetables as I can't seem to be able to eat more than 2-3 in a day, and that depends on what they are too.

I suppose I wouldn't rant if I could live off of things like crackers and pudding and the odd multi-vitamin. But of course, I can't. If I gain too much weight (say 15lbs or so) I could compromise my pouch by putting too much pressure on the valve. I can't afford to lose it so obviously the incentive to stay trim is pretty high. But since I can't eat salad, or really any raw veggies for that matter.... its a big challenge.

Oh and don't say cooked veggies because thats not much better. I'll tell you its the fiber. Example: Pumpkin.

Yes, I am a fiend for pumpkin. Love it. I stop just short of eating it right out of the can. I like fresh too but lets be honest here, I save myself a lot of work by buying it canned. So pumpkin in a can but cooked already. Lets say mix it with a little cheesecake pudding and pumpkin pie spice (yum!) and eat 1/2 to 3/4 of a cup. Three hours later and I go to empty my pouch guess what? You ever try and suck pumpkin through a straw? No? Well just try and imagine it and you have a decent idea of what I'm going through. And drinking juice or coffee doesn't help thin in up. So its irrigate, irrigate, irrigate.

Add another veggie that day, cooked carrots or green beans, something you think wouldn't be that bad... ha. Pureed or not, they can only be broken down so far and what ever is left, thats what I have to try and get through my cath.

I warned you its a rant.

Do I like my K-pouch? YES, unequivocally preferable to any alternative plumbing method that can exist for me.

Am I tired of pulling my cath out to find two minute pieces of apple plugging up the hole of my cath. YES.

Trying to eat healthy when you poop through a catheter totally stinks.

3 years and counting...

Well I made it to the 3 year mark!
And I'll admit, when I decided to go ahead and have this surgery I prayed that it last me 2 years. I figured 2 years will make it worth it. And here I am 3 years and going strong. Truly a blessing from God.
And I am really grateful, most of the time and some days (to my shame) not so much.
Because well, no 2 ways about it, the bottom line is that you stick a tube into your belly to go to the bathroom. Its not always easy and plenty of times its inconvenient. Sometimes its frustrating and sometimes it makes me sore.

I get annoyed with what I can't really eat. I get frustrated by how it seems like no matter how much I chew stuff up it causes me problems. And there's nothing quite like running a little late for work in the morning and discovering that what you thought would take 3-4 minutes is taking 10-15 because you're trying to suck blended veggies through a straw and this one piece of tomato is plugging up the hole. So you pull the cath out only to discover its not this huge chuck but rather 2 small pieces that got wedged together. HOW CAN I CHEW IT ANY SMALLER THAN THAT?!?!!?!?! *sigh*

I find I'm a lot less grateful when I compare myself to those of you who still have a colon and a lot MORE grateful when I think of all the poor souls out there with UC or Crohns who still go to the bathroom 12 times a day on a good day. Or when I think back to my awful fistula days and how much pain I was always in and how awful I felt and embarrassed I was all the time. A few moments of remembrance of that makes me well-up with gratitude!

I'm also off all my chrons meds now and only get a scope once a year. I haven't been hospitalized in 3 years and that is truly something to be grateful for.