Five year veteran

I really can't believe my k-pouch five year birthday is here - what an amazing answer to prayer!
Honestly, I decided going into this surgery, if it lasts me three years, then it will be worth it.  Here I am cruising past five though and doing great.  I'm saying the rock issue doesn't count!

Another big milestone for me though is finishing nursing school - I graduate next month!
If you had said to me five years ago that I would do that, I would have told you that you were out of your mind.  Check yourself into the Psych ward of the local hospital because there is NO WAY.  Because just visiting the hospital was awful and I couldn't even imagine working in one.
Then slowly, slowly the idea germinated in my brain and one day I thought ' maybe I COULD be a nurse...'

When I first started my clinicals just the smell of the hospital would make me nauseated.  So many times I thought "God I can't do this without you!"  And of course the best part is, I didn't have to.  Facing down all fears: smells, sights, sounds, has been pretty intense.  But I don't feel intimidated by that place any more.  Amazing how God has affected this change in me.

Not that I don't struggle with stuff... cause I do.
Living with a k-pouch has been good but its a challenge to me.  I don't think about it all the time, but some days its a pain.  Like days when I eat too many fruits or veggies.  Days where I'm traveling.  Days I spend all day at the hospital and school for class and clinicals - I think 'should I eat? How much? Where will I empty?'
I HATE emptying in public, so I avoid it if I can.  And I don't think everyone who has a k-pouch has this issue, but I have a bit of anxiety about it.  Its easier if I can find a private bathroom, then it doesn't bug me as much, but being in a stall and trying to empty standing up while not getting any of the splash-factor on me, and trying to figure out where to put my stuff... cause its not like your average toilet stall has a wealth of places to put things. Sometimes its hard - hard to be different, hard to think about every single thing that goes into my mouth...

So there's some stuff I"m not crazy about but I'm just so so so SO glad not to have an ileostomy.
And, despite all the crap I've been through I feel really really grateful to have it.
So I'm celebrating my FIVE year-old k-pouch.
Happy Birthday

so what were those stupid rocks about anyways?

No clue.
Really, neither Dr Monga or Dr Shen really had any answers.
All I know is they're really rare.  Dr Shen said I was his 9th although interestingly enough only the 4th k-poucher with stones, the rest were j-pouchers - yikes!
Found out they were 90% Calcium but both of them said that there's no data to support me limiting my intake of calcium, especially as I have osteopenia (common for the colon-less).  I read some studies as well last semester when funnily enough I had to do a poster for chemistry class on calcium that said calcium supplements weren't linked to calcium deposits in the body.  Though it was mostly referring to kidney stones I am sure.  And of course, we have no idea why I got them or if they'll come back.
That doesn't bother me too much though, I think because since I've had the rock-destructing surgery I know its not a big deal and I'll not be too concerned if I have to have it done again.  Also, in my whole life worrying about something never affected a change in anything and only served to make me crazy.
So I'm just going to go about my business and hope I never get rocks in my pouch again.
Meanwhile I'm back on regular foods which is awesome because baby-food veggies were getting really old.
Despite this really random rock incident though the pouch is doing great!