You figure out, you're just not.
At least, that's how I feel. Sometimes its like I have this secret identity. But instead of whipping into the nearest closet to take out my super-cape I pull out a catheter and make a dash for the bathroom.
And nobody knows.
I think though its really hit me recently though because now I'm working as a nurse. And patients are often constipated. And I have NO IDEA what that is like. I may have had constipation when I was a kid, but I had my colon out at 13 so really any bathroom memories from that age center around bloody diarrhea. And you know, they don't really teach you about constipation because everyone just assumes you know about it. So its my secret, I've no clue. I can't imagine not going to the bathroom for several days. I can't even imagine not going to the bathroom less than 4 times a day! All my knowledge of fiber and stool softeners, laxatives and such are all purely academic, and so I ask questions, and this sometimes earns me a look.
Oh well.
On the other hand I used to eat imodium like it was candy, back in my j-pouch days. So I can understand my patients struggling with diarrhea. But even now my goal is liquidy as possible! The exact opposite of pretty much every other human on the planet except other k-pouchers - and we are a rare breed. Not exactly normal.
I'm also due for my annual scope. Going in at the end of February, and really besides the rocks I've had no problems with my pouch so I'm not really worried so much as....
Well, lets just face it. No one likes going to the Doc, even if he's great, and Dr Shen is great. But I know its going to hurt because I get scoped w/out anesthesia. I get scoped w/out anesthesia because the scope takes maybe 10 minutes and I don't wann be drugged the rest of the day because of 10 minutes. Plus, then I'd need a driver and my husband shouldn't have to take time off of work because of that. I don't wanna go, but I'm going anyways, because that's what responsible grown-ups do, which is what I am (I guess).
I'm going to wear my "colons are overraated" t-shirt because CC is about the only place I can wear it and even though it arouses some attention the not-normals are normals there.
So, I guess I fit right in :)
4 comments:
I have a BCIR (blog at www.arsetopia.com)
With your kpouch do you get a lot of valve pain and movement in the area around it? I have violent movement and I press on my stoma to get things to move around. Shen said it is due to the way my valve was made.
I could go in for a Kpouch version with Dietz and Ashburn at CC but there is that 50/50 chance the pouch can't be saved. AND it is major surgery. I suffer a lot with this pouch though and think the valve is a main issue.
How is your BCIR now, Vanessa? I'm considering either that or K Pouch. Thanks for your advice. I'll check out your blog.
I couldn't find any blog at www.arsetopia.com. Hope you are well.
http://j-pouch.org/groupee/forums
has a forum for k-pouch and BCIR and you will get a lot of your questions answered there. I believe Vanessa has some posts there. I watch the web board, though I don't post too often you can PM me there with questions my username is kaydbird.
Good luck!
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