I'm sorry

I think I've spent a good part of my life apologizing for my "bathroom problems".
I mean, I can't help it that my colon turned traitor on me, yet I find myself constantly apologizing for it.

I was 13 when I got my j-pouch so every family trip "Dad, I'm sorry, can we stop again I need to go."
to my brother "David, sorry, can you let me in the bathroom first please?"
to my friends "sorry guys, give me a minute"
to my teachers "sorry, I need to use the bathroom"
Don't get me wrong, my family has never ever made me feel like my bathroom issues interfered with our lives or plans, but you can't help but notice how often people are waiting on you.
And of course things only got worse when I had that stupid fistula and the need to go became much more urgent.  Sorry, I'll be right back, sorry I took so long, sorry I had to leave in the middle of dinner (again).  Thank God that is over with.
So, now I have my k-pouch and I go a LOT less, only 4-5 times a day yet I still say it all the time.
"Sorry, I'll be back in a few minutes, Sorry, can you excuse me?  Sorry, I need to be going, I have ah, something I need to take care of..."
Because I'm not exactly in and out in 2 minutes, and when you're gone for 5 or so minutes some people worry about you and some people talk about your absence and some people are thankfully kind enough to ignore the fact that you've been gone for so long.
I'm just bringing it up because I caught myself doing it again and I thought "Why in the world am I apologizing?"  I guess I feel like my bathroom problems cause more disruption to other peoples lives than even my own which is total nonsense.
The other funny thing is that I noticed I have trouble saying "I need to use the bathroom."  I always say (to people that know me) "I need to pouch" or "I need to empty my pouch" because it is functionally SO DIFFERENT from the feeling of going to the bathroom, my brain doesn't really connect the dots.  I know I'm pooping but yet since I'm sticking a catheter in my belly and I stand or kneel I'm just..... emptying my pouch.  Its not really the same to me.
Maybe it stems from a sense of shame or embarrassment about the frequency, length of time, smell, etc.
Possibly, Probably.  I'm not sure that I"ll ever get over it.
Sorry.