So on Tuesday around 2pm my belly started to hurt. Didn't have anything unusual for lunch.
It hurt in the upper portion just below the sternum and went through to my back. And it just kept getting worse and worse. And I had an Anatomy test on Tuesday at 3pm so I went and sat there trying to focus when all I could think about was "am I going to have to go to the ER?"
I drove home in tears because the pain was so severe. And by severe I mean on that PAIN scale they like to give you, I'm at an 8 and I am scared.
See, I've had acute pancreatitis, about.... 6 or so years ago and it was awful. And thats what comes to mind. Another bout of it, so of course I do my symptom checker at web md and of course thats on the list and it says for severe abdominal pain go to the hospital and I'm certainly considering it, but my husband is at work and after all my surgeries and procedures and problems I know that I pretty much go straight to panic when something isn't right. So I think that I'll just wait til 5:30 when Shon comes home and if its still bad then we'll go.
And all those thoughts come, you know?
I'll be at the local ER that's never even heard of the K-pouch and I will have to explain EVERYTHING and have the horror of getting an IV started with my minuscule veins. And then I'll be hospitalized for about 4 days and miss a bunch of school and with my luck I'll be on the same floor that all my school friends do their clinical experiences on....
So, I take a pepcid because I was given IV pepcid when I was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis and pray and pray - God I DO NO WANT to be back in the hospital.
I decided to empty my pouch just in case, but not much came out (I didn't really expect anything)
About an hour later the pain is gone (I was in severe pain for almost 3 hours).
I went to bed exhausted and the mental images coming to me of trying to sleep in the hospital with my little sore hand IV and the loneliness and the smell were so vivid....
Thank you God that I am sleeping at home, help me not to be overwhelmed by my own stupid imagination.
So what was it?
Do I have an ulcer? Can ulcer pain be that severe and last that long?
Will it come back?
Ate the same thing today that I ate yesterday and I feel fine. I'm exhausted emotionally, mentally, physically, but fine.
And I really hate it that I am so scared of being back in the hospital.
But I am,
I am utterly terrified.
1 comment:
Carry a card upon yourself with instructions and identification of the K-pouch. You can write this on a nice card stock and just keep in your wallet to hand to the nurse or doctor. Explaining anything when sick just depletes you more. Include your surgeon's phone number if possible. There's no room for mistakes at these ER rooms, happens all the time. Many are not well informed about various procedures.
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